How do I even begin explaining things?
I’ve always been open to the idea of non-monogamy. And, we’ve discussed it a lot over the years.Often listing off the rules we’d have, or what we wanted. But, ultimately, it was never really a thing more than a fantasy. And, we were cool with that.
B travels full time for work, which leaves me with time on my hands when the kids go to bed. I found a chat room awhile back. It isn’t quite like the old ones, but, it’s not bad to waste some time in a few evenings a month. B knew I was chatting. He knew about 95% of the guys ended up blocked within the first few minutes. The rest were people who could hold a conversation for the evening, but, I never spoke to again. After a couple months I get a message from R. We don’t talk long, maybe 20 minutes before he says he’s headed to bed, but, wants to keep talking to me. Do I have a texting app? I do, I give him the name. This was the end of August. I figure he’ll be an ass and end up blocked soon enough. And instead he says “good morning” every morning and just randomly chats to me, throughout the day. Every day.
It’s October, I still don’t know what he looks like. He doesn’t know what I look like. I think maybe he kinda likes me. And I kinda like him. One day I’m in kind of a pissy mood, and B asks why. When I really think about it, I realize I had a slight crush on this guy, and for whatever reason, I hadn’t heard from him all day. I acknowledge this was kind of silly. For all I really knew he could be some sort of 65 yr old Santa Clause double, but, it was what it was.
When I dyed my hair purple, I asked if he wanted a picture. He said yes. So, I sent one. And, he responded with “you look exactly like you did in my head.” Ok, well, that wasn’t really a compliment or anything. But, sure. Ok, this crush was/is one-sided. Then he sent me a picture. And he looked like Ryan Reynolds.
But, after this, he gets a little more flirty, I think. He talks a little more. Every day. End of November I’m gonna be in his area, and he wants to meet up. So, I go see him. He sent me a very good picture, he’s cute, but not quite Ryan Reynold’s double. That’s fine, of course you are gonna send a good pic, and it wasn’t even misrepresenting. He looked like his pic. We spend basically 5 hours talking. He hugs me when I go to leave. That’s as far as it goes.
By now, B is calling R my boyfriend. Which is absurd. We’re friends. Buddies. Pals. I think he’s cute, but I don’t think he’s into me. B is like “Uh, no, he’s into you.” Flirting continues to pick up. B wants to know how into R I am. I tell him the truth, if I was single, I’d sleep with R.
It’s January, and we aren’t even pretending we aren’t flirting anymore. B knows it all. The hypothetical open marriage scenario is thrown out there again. We’ve had this talk so many times, I don’t think anything about it. Apparently B really was. And, 2(?) weeks ago he tells me, he’s fine with it. If I want to sleep with R, I can. He wants me to be careful, but, that’s his one big thing.
It completely threw me for a loop. I wasn’t looking to sleep with R. I know I’m married, and marriage means not dating. A few days of me basically panicking, and B reassuring, and I decided to see just where R and I are. So, I’m not really subtle with the flirting now. He invites me over again.
I go to the house, and I won’t go into all the details, because B reads this and he doesn’t want to know everything. But, R and I talked for awhile. Then he was holding my hands, kissing me. It turned into a long heated make-out session. I was nervous, he was respectful, never pushed for anything. I eventually left and drove home, worrying the whole time. I got home, and it was a complete non-issue.
So, I guess I have a boyfriend now. And B and R know about each other, and ask how the other one is doing. And, it’s a little weird. But, I think I like it.