Joe is my ex, Jill is his gf. Brad is my husband. The 4 of us went out Friday night. We went to Starbucks. Joe said we could move. I showed him the paperwork I filled out, the address we’ll move to. The reasons. The new visitation plan. How we will get the kids back here. And, he said we could go.
Sunday night, we’re picking up the kids and all 6 of us are going out for dinner so we can tell the kids we’re moving.
Joe’s only big concern is that the boys might think he doesn’t want them. I told him that I certainly won’t tell them that. He needs to take all his visitation. And, they have a cell phone, he can call or text them when he wants. I may even splurge for xbox live so they can play video games together. Secretly though, IMO, if they think that, he set them up to think that. He’s never prioritized them. But, that’s his concern, which is why we are telling them together.
Jill is more than happy to send them away. She already sent one of her kids away and is working on the 2nd one. She’s told the boys she can’t wait until they grow up and she doesn’t have to deal with kids anymore. She said to Joe “well, you need to be prepared for them not to want to come visit, and you shouldn’t force it.” So…I don’t see them trying to stay in the kids’ lives too hard.
I mentioned going to court and Jill was quit to cut in “Well, if we agree I thought we didn’t have to go to court, right? I thought we weren’t going to court.” I said “I think that’s how it works. That’s how it sounds anyway. But, if there is a court date, just don’t come. They will rule in your absence that we can go, and that’s what we agreed anyway.” and she was like, “Ok, good”.
Brad laughed about it later, said going to court with me has never worked out well for Joe in the past.
I aimed high, and just basically said “Let us move, here’s why…” and thought we’d have to negotiate or something. But, so far, he has just said “Ok.”
I’m feeling cautiously optimistic, excited, nervous and overwhelmed.
Brad used to live in Atlanta. Yesterday he said “Everything in my life was to lead me to you. I’m going full circle, I just had to leave to find you, then I could go back home.” Which, was incredibly romantic, especially when you consider we don’t do romantic. he had two failed relationships that had to happen to find me. One girlfriend got him to move here. The next, a FWB, knew me, and told me to talk to him because he was pretty great. I’d ignored him for 6 months before that.
I’m gonna try to get my job back at the bookstore, for a couple semesters, just to save up a little extra money for the move.