Several months ago, I listened to my aunt telling the story of my horrible sister and her whipped husband. The person listening said “is she like a super model or something?” And my aunt laughed and said no, pulled up photos from a cruise sis had taken, where she is wearing a bikini. Aunt and friend proceeded to make fun of my fat sister and talk about how gross fat people in bikinis were and how no one wants to see that. Now, there are a few dozen reasons my sister is horrible and deserves the crap she gets, but I don’t think her weight is one of them. Plus, I had told myself when I hit 199, I was getting myself a two piece swim suit. I hit that, that means I’ve lost 60 pounds. It makes me sad to know that even after all my work, I’m still considered gross. I’m not done, I still want to lose about 50 pounds, but I’m proud of what I accomplished.
It aggravated me, because almost all men’s swim suits are the same. Thin, muscular, chubby or fat and no one goes “disgusting! How dare you be seen in public like that? think of my precious eyes!”
Plus, who gets to decide? When am I small enough? If I put a piece of fabric over my midsection, have I somehow fooled you into thinking I’m svelte? If I wear a longer top is that enough, or is a bikini bottom disgusting as well? Am I forced to swim and dive in a swim skirt that is weighing me down? Guess what? I find cankles extremely unattractive, do I get to demand everyone wear leggings to the pool and mock those who don’t? Is there a weight limit or a fitness test to prove I am bikini worthy? I will probably fail on th weigh, but I’ll put my fitness up against a lot of women who are just blessed with good genetics.
And believe it or not I’m not wearing a bikini to impress random strangers on the beach. I’m wearing it because I tan so easily and I hate that strip of neon white any time a sliver of tummy shows between my jeans and my top. I’m wearing it because my husband gets turned on by tan lines, and I like the reaction I get with more tanned skin. I’m wearing it because aqua Zumba, or just swimming in general, is easier without a bunch of extra fabric, like in the skirted tankini, and getting dressed and going pee later is much easier in a two piece than a one piece. I’m wearing it because NO ONE HAS EVER HIDDEN FLAB IN SPANDEX! I can look fat in a flattering or unflattering swim suit and this one was more flattering than the “less gross” ones I tried on. I’m wearing it because it supports my chest and stays in place while I race down the 120 ft water slide that is a straight drop. I’m wearing it because it was the closest thing I found to a sports bra and panties, and that is an amazingly comfortable outfit.
I have seen hundreds of skinny women in bikinis, that were still very unattractive, and still did not look good in a bikini, but because they were skinny, it was ok. If you don’t like it, don’t wear one.
I haven’t posted pics in a while, this has nothing to do with the post, But, I like these pics.