Not Completely Broken

I believe I’ve mentioned a couple times on here about how the MS has effected my sex life. My libido has been tanked. Most the time, I’d much rather sleep. If sex isn’t hurting it is because I’m completely numb and can’t feel anything. More than once Brad has decided to play with my breasts and about gotten punched in the face because it is so uncomfortable. He’s had me almost in tears from fingering me…And, he isn’t doing anything I didn’t used to enjoy!

The other day though, I was sitting at the kitchen table, and he walked around behind me. He kissed that curve where my neck meets my shoulder. And, I about slid out of the chair. Holy shit…I was getting turned on. This hasn’t happened in SO long. How have we not thought of this before? I know it isn’t the first time he’s done it. but, i guess he hasn’t done it in awhile.

Later that night we went to bed, and he started kissing and biting there again. It was working, again. Probably a little out of habit by now, he saw I wasn’t cringing and decided to hurry up before something went wrong. So, he fucked me, and it was good. I haven’t enjoyed this in so long, I can’t even begin to describe it. He finished, and got up to clean up. He was standing by the bed when he asked if I needed anything. I said “you, to get your ass back in bed. I’m not done.” He was pretty happy about this, because, seriously, I haven’t let him do anything for me, in months. We’ve had sex, but it’s been very focused on him and his pleasure, because I had, literally, no interest. When he tried to do anything for me, it was uncomfortable and just ended up irritating me.

So, he climbed back in bed, and he was careful, and slow, and was understandably unsure as to what I wanted, could handle. I finally said “Brad, I’m feeling really good right now. I’m enjoying the time with you. You do whatever you want. I’ll tell you if it isn’t working for me.”

You’d have thought I just told him we won the lottery. He got to playing…spent probably the next half hour, 45 minutes touching and playing and making me orgasm over and over again. He even did a couple new things, including one thing I loved, but never asked for, because I was so certain he’d never do it. I don’t think he would have, previously, but that night he was in to whatever he thought might make me moan.

I woke up the next morning with bite marks all down my neck and shoulders. And, very, very satisfied. But, the best part is, I’m still wanting sex and it’s been a couple days since that. He left for work yesterday, but he’ll be home tonight, and I want him. For the last…6 (?) months or so, the best I could do was wanting to want him. I missed wanting sex. This is nice.

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