New Year’s Resolution

Every year for the last few years I’ve picked a “guide word” more than a New Year’s resolution. The first was Intentional. And that was a really good word. The next was balance, and I didn’t do so well. Last year was progress. It wasn’t as good as intentional, but, better than balance. So, I need a 2018 word. Current ideas are

  • Enough
  • Rise
  • Acceptance
  • Congruent
  • Consistent
  • Pause
  • Release
  • Capable

All of them are words that I can see areas of my life that need improvement on. But, none of them really jump out at me.

In other news, I have a foster dog. This is Kody.


He needs a home for Christmas. Preferably with somebody who wants to play tug-of-war all morning and nap all afternoon. He’s 70 pounds and 2 yrs old.

Also, I have pink hair now.



4 thoughts on “New Year’s Resolution

  1. Allie says:

    Hey Katie! What happened to your last blog post? 😫 I was really hoping to give it a re-read as I’m in a similar situation currently.

    Long time follower 😘

      • Allie says:

        So I thought I had replied that I ready it, but I can’t find my comment anywhere so it just not have gone through…lame internet. But thank you! Love reading your blog! Hubbin and I are currently in the threshold of something similar…only it’s more his desire than mine. He’s not pressuring me or anything, i just know it would make him happier. Not sure how I would handle it though. I’m not that interested in being with other men and I think it would turn into just him being with other women. And that doesn’t feel great. Any suggestions or advice?

        • Katie Ahava says:

          This is long. Sorry. Never come to me for brevity. This is a bit of a hard situation. I thought when we opened things up, women would just throw themselves at Hubs, he’d never have time for me again. And, that hasn’t happened. He actually has only gotten to the flirting stage with one woman. He was actively looking and there just aren’t a lot of women who 1: believed he was telling the truth about his situation, or 2: wanted to get involved in it. are you concerned he will be so excited by the new freedom that he will be constantly on “dates”? or are you actually bothered by the idea of him sleeping with someone else?
          I noticed you said you aren’t interested being with other men. I wasn’t either. Until I was. I think saying “Let’s give this a try” let’s you be a little more flirty with some guys, and then it’s nice to know you have the option for more, if you want it.
          Let’s say you agree, and he finds someone, then comes home and tells you about it. If you really can’t deal with it, would he be willing to go back to monogamy?
          Finally, I don’t know that you can be sure you’ll be ok with it all. B and I talked a lot, and while I originally said I wasn’t sure how I would deal, I was sure, that if it was a problem we’d be able to get through it together. And, maybe that would mean monogamy again. Maybe it would mean breaking down why I was uncomfortable and working on that. and, as this all became more real, and I saw that he was openly communicating, it got easier to be ok with. So, when he told me about his new friend I was kind like “wow, maybe this is a bad idea.” then he would tell me more. And, he was actually supposed to have a date with her next week, and I was excited for him. Which I never would have expected just a few months ago. Then he had to cancel and I felt bad for him.
          If you aren’t comfortable, don’t agree. Opening things up doesn’t mean you HAVE to do anything. You’re just open to the possibility. If you want to try, go slowly, and over communicate. I mean, seriously. I have actually said “Ok, so, let’s say R wants to stick it in my ass, we cool or no?” And, it is an INCREDIBLY AWKWARD conversation to have, but because we had it, when I actually did have to say something uncomfortable recently, we already knew it would be ok. Are you and your husband going to be able to communicate that openly? Because I think that’s really important. And, if you want to wait, to think, to take your time, or maybe even say “No way”, he needs to respect that.

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